I had a major life accomplishment this month. I was getting my nails done and I knew exactly what I wanted them to look like and have been planning this vision for forever. As I was sitting there and watching the lady shape my nails, I realized that it is not how I wanted them to look. They were getting way to long and square shape, but I clearly told her I wanted them shorter and more round. I wanted to cry. I was fully prepared to walk out of that salon with my crazy long and sharp nails and cry about how much I hated them when I got into my car. Then I had an epiphany, as I stared at the photo of the smiling lady with her beautifully painted nails on the wall. Why am I to afraid to tell this lady to stop and fix them if I didn’t like how they looked? Why was I about to pay for something I really did not want, and why did I use to do this constantly in the past? I was always nervous to speak my mind and stand up for myself because I thought it would come off “bitchy” or “rude”. Having that mindset is total BS and I was over it. On September 24^th, 2019 I made history in that nail salon. I told the lady to stop and asked her to fix my nails because I did not like them and I told her exactly what I wanted, and guess what… She didn’t cuss me out or give me dirty looks, she didn’t even backlist me from the salon. She looked at me, smiled, and said “of course ill fix it for you”. I WAS SHOCKED. Shocked and proud of myself for sharing how I felt. I left that nail salon feeling more empowered than ever and ready to take the world by storm.

Why is sharing how you feel and advocating for the things you want and need so hard for so many people!? Why are we constantly letting people walk all over us and just letting it happen!? So many issues can be fixed just by sharing how you feel or saying no.  Personally, I have always been afraid of disappointing or upsetting people. I always put their feelings first and thought about how they would view me because of what I do. Let me tell you, that is NO way to live your life. Living your life to please others is exhausting and very unfulfilling. You will never be happy with yourself if you are constantly planning your next move based on other people. Standing up for yourself is so important for you to learn how to do. It will get you out of so many unwanted situations and even bring more positive opportunities into your life.

This year I started a new job, it started off great but about a week into it I started to hate it. It was not a good fit for me, or my schedule and I wanted out. I was too scared to tell anybody about how I felt because I didn’t want them to be upset that they took time out of their schedules to train me for this job, just for me to quit. About 3 weeks into the job I finally got the balls to put in my two-week notice. I was ecstatic. I felt so free because I did not constantly have the negative energy of that job looming over me. Later that week I received another job opportunity that I agreed to take. I am now living my best life. I absolutely love it. It’s a positive environment and I don’t dread waking up to go every day. I never would have gotten this opportunity if I didn’t speak up and get out of my prior situation. The fact that I stood up for myself and left my job, got me out of that negative situation and brought another positive one into my life. Yes, it was scary to do, but right now I am happy and in a much better mindset which makes it 100% worth it.

Your happiness and wellbeing should be your main priority. You will not be disappointing others by being honest and advocating for yourself, and if that person is disappointed in you then they are not the people you want to be around anyway. Its okay to say no to something you don’t want. Its okay to express exactly what you want and need. Its much better to express your feelings right away than complaining about it later on when you had every opportunity to change it before.

With the new season and new year quickly approaching, make it a priority to learn how to be your own advocate. Nobody cares about you as much as you do yourself. Nobody will advocate for you more than you can for yourself. Having the courage and strength to share your opinions and speak your mind will set you apart from so many people, you will be unstoppable. And let’s be honest, everybody loves and admires a courageous woman.